The human race, suffering from years of mental de-evolution, has embarked on its latest and greatest conquest: declaring war on the moon. The one remaining intellectual nation of Djibouti, being the global superpower at the time, launches a lone lunar vehicle. Constructed of alloys consisting of some scrap metal found in a drainage ditch and some bicycle tires, the lunar vehicle set off against Earth’s greatest foe…then promptly crashed into a nearby block.
The Djiboutian scientists were baffled. Scraping up as much cash for resources as they could, they built another lunar vehicle. Christened by the president himself, the new Lander piloted by two brave astronauts launched moonward. Four weeks later, the Lander touched down. With a rev of its moon engine, followed by a sputter, followed by a dry hacking cough, followed by a backfire, the lunar tank sped off…right into another moon block.
The government then scraped together the last of its scrap metal and bicycle tires to launch a third and final lunar vehicle that would surely take out the dreaded moon menace. The vehicle landed and sped off into the belly of the moon empire, but there was no army to be found. Just turrets as far as the eye can see. Some turrets were on posts, some pointed right off of the screen and into the horizon, others lay haphazardly on the ground. Effortlessly, the lunar vehicle blasted its way against the poorly placed moon defenses. Mountains turned from green to pink and for the pilots, shooting turrets was like shooting ducks at the carnival back home.
All seemed well until eight stages into the mission when communication was lost with the pilots. The last transmission ended with “how much longer do we have to go through this bullsh…” followed by a piercing white noise that had an affect not unlike that one scene near the end of Total Recall. It seemed at that moment, everything on the moon, the earth, and the universe froze in place forever.
Since 2007, Gamescrap has brought you the the worst video games, game commercials, game merchandise, and gaming moments ever to grace the industry. No matter if it's a beloved classic or the next hot thing, no bad game is safe from the horrors of the Gamescrap heap.
Since 2007, Gamescrap has brought you the the worst video games, game commercials, game merchandise, and gaming moments ever to grace the industry. No matter if it's a beloved classic or the next hot thing, no bad game is safe from the horrors of the Gamescrap heap.