Good evening everyone, I’m Natsume’s S.C.A.T, and I’ll be your host for the first annual Gamescrap Trade School Commercial Round-Up and Little Britches Rodeo. Ever since my S.C.A.T. team disbanded in 1991, it’s been hard for a lowly Cybernetic Attack Veteran such as myself to get into new lines of work. During all of my downtime, I’ve become enamored with daytime TV – call it a guilty pleasure if you’d like. Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos, Christina’s Court, baby’s daddy tests on Maury, you name it, I’m watching it! Little did I know that this horrible pastime that has caused my gut to almost split my cybernetic armor (which I wear on a daily basis in case the President ever needs me in the event of Cybernetic attack) would land me a job here…hosting this prestigious induction! Today, crappy game site…tomorrow, being a professional opinion giver on VH1’s Best Week Ever. Huzzah!
Anyone who has found themselves calling off of work for a social/sanity day may be familiar with the all-around trashiness of daytime TV – yet you can’t help but feel compelled to watch it, as if it’s some sort of guilty pleasure, kind of like watching anime porn just to see what all of the fuss is about. Not that I’d know such a thing….moving on.
In a year that saw God of War II and Halo 3 become underdogs once year-end award time came around, you can honestly say that it was a great year for gaming. As the old cliché that I think I just made up goes, the bad always comes with the good. Seeing as its January 2008 now, it’s time to look back at some of the worst moments of what was truly a golden age in gaming. Get the polish ready, it’s tarnishing time.
Before I got my PHD in bad games, swankdom, and how to make a bad ass tater tot casserole, I was a young lad with a Vectrex and a NES. When I was growing up, I always wished that gaming, the hobby I loved and lived, would someday be taken seriously. Now here I am some twenty years later and I’d like to officially retract my childhood wish. After years of piss-poor video game award shows, namely the Spike VGA’s and G-Phoria as the most vile offenders, I’ve finally given up on any hope of any kind of legit and entertaining event showcasing the best of gaming. After seeing Spike’s nominees for this year’s awards, I can’t help but feel embarrassed for the presenters, the numerous B-List celebs, and the developers most of all who ultimately end up playing second fiddle to the likes of William Shatner. So before I start going off on an anger-fueled harangue, let’s look a little more in-depth as to why video game award shows just plain suck.
Have you ever read about a game and thought to yourself “who in their right mind thought this would be a great idea?!” While your average gamer may scoff at an atrocious game idea, it seems that game companies are making these dumb decisions every day. We’ve seen it in the past with games based off bad Sylvester Stallone movies like Driven, or games just plain based off lame comic book characters like Aqua Man. Still, the folks in their ivory towers and glass houses feel these ideas will actually gain some sort of profit. So with E3 2007 now in the books and most of the holiday releases already announced, let’s take a look at three games that are just plain stupid and ill conceived that are due out on the shelves of your local Game Stop and Wal-Mart for full price in the very near future.
Since 2007, Gamescrap has brought you the the worst video games, game commercials, game merchandise, and gaming moments ever to grace the industry. No matter if it's a beloved classic or the next hot thing, no bad game is safe from the horrors of the Gamescrap heap.