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Written by theJuice
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Monday, September 14, 2009 |
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There was a time when I looked forward to doing these reviews, but I can't lie to you anymore, this is some dreadful shit. I don't mean that I regret getting involved in this, because it's been really fun and ducational. What I'm trying to say is that we've already reviewed this game (as "Storm over Desert"). And we're going to review it again in a few weeks (as "Beeps and Blips"). How are we supposed to come up with funny shit to entertain your simple minds every time the template for Shitty Top Down Shooter" gets duplicated?
So, "They Came..." is another shitty top down shooter. The goal is to try to shoot down some enemies so you can endure more of the same. If you luck into hitting ten enemies, you get to progress to the next dreary stage. It's already hard enough to line up with an enemy, turn to face it and hope the bullets gets there before he drifts away. Of course, most enemies will spawn two frames away from happily exiting the screen. Icons labelled "P" appear, and a goofy jingle plays when collected, but they don't appear to help you in anyway, not even your score is increased. The pink shit all over the screen will only kill you if it sn't actually attached to the wall. By the fourth stage, the game starts throwing free lives everywhere, more frequently than the useless powerups. At one point, I had seven free life pickups on the screen at once!
The good news is that if your ship explodes, you probably just crashed your NES. This bug was bad that Active Enterprises actually took the time to fix it and remanufactured the cart. Yes, someone was such a completest collector nerd that both versions of the Action 52 cartridge have been found and dumped.
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