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Basic science will tell you that if you mix an acid and a base, they explode. You mix two ego-powered celebrities in a high profile relationship, and you get Gigli. If you mix a totally retarded game concept with an already doomed console, well, you get Cyberdillo. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, it totally sounds like a twelve-inch lesbian marital aid. What’s more interesting is finding out what were those hippies at Pixel Technologies smoking, eating, or snorting during the making of this thing. I mean, everyone wants the next big mascot, but anyone imagining an armadillo with cybernetic plunger shooting implants has to be about an inch shy of an overdose. Cyberdillo lacks both rhyme and reason and you might just leave the experience a little less sane.

If gaming innovation is what you crave, look no further than the independent developer. While larger game companies rarely venture off the beaten path and continue to give us the same kinds of games year in and year out, it’s the independent developers that are admired for bringing new, daring, and innovative ideas to the table. Look no further than games like Façade, Alien Hominid, or Crimsonland to push the envelope for innovation and offer a level of addictiveness that the folks at Blizzard could only wish to achieve. These developers rarely ask for much as their games are free, or at least affordable enough that no one would mind kicking a little bit of cash their way. It’s another thing when some kid in his parents’ basement develops an uninspired and broken knockoff running on a dated and 3D engine while attempting to drum up controversy to get his game noticed – all at the low, low price of twenty-five bucks. Sound unreal? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Gore Galore.

Let me set the record straight right now, I’ve never really “gotten” porn games. Seriously, why do you need to play, kill, and solve puzzles to earn your wank when you can just get on the internets and snap a few off and just bypass the hassle? It just doesn’t make any sense to me, especially considering that pretty much all “adults only” games are fucking garbage anyways.  Oh hey, speaking of garbage, here’s a game I dug up from the briny bottom of the porn game barrel called Immoral Cumbat. That’s what we call a “Segway” in the “biz”.

There’s been some coverage recently about how mature rated games just aren’t doing well on the Wii. Games like House of the Dead Overkill, Madworld, and Deep Space Extraction are selling abysmally…and that’s just putting it nicely. Honestly, I love the fact the Wii is putting out M-Rated games for their “kiddie console”. Maybe it’s just that gamers nowadays have it easy…old timers like myself should be grateful though…it wasn’t always this way after all. 

Back in the early 90’s Nintendo was the third Reich of censorship. Back then, most gamers my age either had a SNES or a Genesis. Only the richest of rich kids had both…let alone something exotic like a TG-16. My loyalty was with the Nintendo camp, and for years I would engage in debate with kids in my class about which system was the best. Sure, Mario had his merits and the Sonic games were awesome. When it came to the truly hardcore gamers, it came down to two franchises: Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat. Christmas 1992 was a victory for the Nintendo nerds when we got (what I consider, and I’m sure I’m not alone) a superior version of Street Fighter II on the SNES. Little did we know, we would suffer a huge blow the following year.