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Sharks…it’s Jaws without the whimsy. Imagine a brave diver who, armed with his trusty bedpost gun, dives into a seemingly barren five-foot deep kiddie pool in his back yard to shoot small sharks. That can describe what it feels like to play this game. I’ve never seen a shark game experience this close to fishing with a sharpened stick in my life.

"Long" Don G. Johnson has a BIG problem.  He's trapped in space and must crush enemies with his comicly oversized "zufusns", as they call it.  But there are floating, almost invisible nails and other obstacles trying to prick you. 

I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO DICK JOKES.

Calling "City of Doom" a "Crazy Climber" clone isn't really fair. As far as I know, there aren't many any games quite like Nichibitsu's dual-sticked climber, and attempting to mimic the game play on an NES will never be accurate. "City of Doom" plays like a game made by someone who saw "Crazy Climber" in attract mode, never actually played it, and attempted to duplicate the basic idea of climbing a building and dodging the obstacles encountered along the way.

Have you ever thought about how life on this planet began? Whether your beliefs lie in Creationism, Darwinism, or any other “ism” for that matter, it can’t be any worse than what Core design envisioned the dawn of humankind to be. While your mind may wander to our primitive ancestors as lovable characters such as the Flintstones or those hilariously dry cavemen from those Geico commercials, BC Racers will most assuredly taint those visions. The end result turns out to be something uglier and muddier looking than the primordial soup from which they crawled.

Just a scant few years prior to dreaming up hot chicks with big boobs, the folks at Core Design were riding high on their 16-bit cash cow named Chuck Rock. With the next generation of consoles on their way and the popularity of Mario Kart keeping the SNES alive, Core took it upon themselves to create a kart racing game for the 3DO to counter. What was intended to be a whimsical and fun racing game turned into what can only be described as disappointment and disaster for those who invested $700 into their 3DO machines that were supposed to be capable of impressive 3D environments and the perks of CD media. What those poor fools ended up getting was ugliness and racing mayhem at ten frames per second.

Making its way around the internet for the past couple of weeks is DuLuDuBi Star, a platformer for the PC from Chinese developer FANGTE. You may notice from the gameplay vid that FANGTE doesn't seem to realize the difference between an homage and outright thievery, in this case, the victim is Super Mario Galaxy. You'll notice about twenty things wrong about ten seconds into this video from 1-up (after the stupid sponsor ad...sigh).  

Almost a year after being sued by Capcom over Fighter’s History, a game they claimed directly ripped off Street Fighter II in almost every way, the geniuses at Data East decided to take another shot at the fighting game market with Tattoo Assassins. Not ones to rest on their laurels and armed with a script penned by Bob Gale, who wrote two cinematic masterpieces with Back to the Future II and III, the house that Bad Dudes built decided to take the high road this next time by ripping off the current flavor of the month: Mortal Kombat II. The end result was a game that the developers wanted to scrap halfway through development and thankfully really never saw the light of day.